In which Jelly practices having opinions by talking about things she likes and also things she doesn't like, usually in the first person.
I don’t really like surprises except when they come wrapped in a box. My mom does all her own Christmas shopping and then she distributes her gifts to all her relatives so they can wrap them up and give them back to her. I think that defeats the purpose of presents to begin with— fun special things that you don’t see coming but are a nice sign that someone is thinking about you and cares enough to know what you want and to make sure you get it.
Except soap. Nobody likes getting soap.
Video proof: http://youtu.be/XIKFORGW3Ig
Expression of opinions in a pompous manner
"I only had enough material to write six pages of my ten-page paper, so I filled the remaining four with mindless pontification. Also, why do these gummy worms have such massive and distinct smiling faces on them? They look mildly demonic."
The especially nice thing about this word is that it has a lot of letters and syllables in it, so using it makes your pontification seem even more pompous. The downside is that it has an alternate definition relating to pontiffs and I’m still not entirely sure what a pontiff is.
Overall rating: G for Grandiloquent.
I had a not-perfect day today and I considered writing a grumpy, ranty review of it, but then I remembered Sheldon the tiny dinosaur.
Sheldon rates 10 out of 10 every time. He is an adorable little character that fits the style of his adorable little tumblr webcomic. It has a distinct style of cute visual humor and I found myself laughing and smiling every time, even though each punchline is essentially the same (Sheldon is cute and tiny). Definitely worth keeping on hand for every not-perfect day.
Lately I’ve had trouble getting up in the morning.
Not as in I-don’t-want-to-leave-my-pillow-dear-love-of-my-life, but as in I just don’t wake up before noon anymore. Now, one might blame going to bed late, but that would mean taking responsibility for my wild college lifestyle. Instead I’m going to shift responsibility to my alarm. I’ve used my phone alarm all semester, and it has finally reached the point where the alarm sound is background noise. I need a new alarm tone.
Last year, my alarm tone was traumatizing. Occasionally I heard it going off in the back of my mind when it obviously wasn’t, which caused me an unnecessary degree of stress. Even now, if I accidentally play my old tone, I get tense and twitchy, so you can see that picking the right alarm is essential, and not only to get the day off to a good start.
In conclusion, I am accepting any and all suggestions. Much appreciated.
I recently went a full week without my Mactop, and it was not nearly as liberating as I romanticized it would be. It’s become very much a security blanket (or is it a crutch?) to have constant access to all the little conveniences of a computer at my fingertips— e-mail, my online calendar, most of my music, an endless selection of online video, old scripts and stories, notes on notes on notes, and Google. Google is probably the single best thing about the Internet. Who’s that old bald rich guy who supposedly did something important? Ask Google. Where can I possibly find a bagel on such short notice? Google it. Wondering how often giraffes copulate? Google knows.
That devolved quickly. In any case, I was also surprised by what I didn’t miss, most notably tumblr and YouTube. I spend a lot of time on both those websites (I’m not really sure exactly what I’m doing, since I have exactly zero interest in cat videos/gifsets) but when it wasn’t easy to get to them, I lost interest in trying to log on. I feel like that’s an unfortunate reflection on me rather than the websites: I like my art in convenient, travel-sized, easy-access packages.
The Verdict: I’m incredibly lucky to have my laptop (no one saw that coming, I know), and I will not be getting a smart phone any time soon because I’d probably never get off it. Also, do I really need my Facebook following me everywhere I go?
P.S. Parental figures: I promise I do things with my life other than computers.
- Good For Dance: I take a dance class two mornings a week and the skirt just makes it so much more fun. I bet if boys wore them too, more would want to join the class.
- Easy to Add or Remove: Tight jeans are a pain in the butt. And the front. And the ankles. And sometimes around the knees if I haven’t stretched them out yet.
- Classy Casual: Just by putting on a skirt, I feel like I got dressed up. It’s an instant bonus to classiness with minimal effort on my part, unless putting on the skirt makes me realize I haven’t shaved my legs in several… months… (whoever decided leg shaving was a good social standard was WRONG.)
- Self Consciousness: I haven’t worn skirts enough to be confident about their ability to stay where they’re supposed to, so every time someone looks at me a little too long I get all defensive inside and start not-so-subtly checking to see if the back of my skirt flew up over my head without me noticing.
- Maturity: AAAH. I’M GROWING UP. I’M WEARING SKIRTS. I’M ACTING LIKE I’M OLD OR SOMETHING. AAAAH. AAAAAAAAH. AAAAAAAAAAAAH.
- More positives than negatives. I must really like skirts.
Overall Rating: B for the Beginning was Better
“Are you a vegetarian?” I ask, based on the evidence in front of me.
"Because I have this theory that when we die, every animal that we’ve eaten has a chance at eating us back. So if you’re a carnivore and you add up all the animals you’ve eaten—well, that’s a long time in purgatory, being chewed."
She laughs. “No. I’m just sick of the question.”